Visiting an Episcopal Congregation

 I've visited a downtown Episcopal congregation for two Sundays now.  I really couldn't tell you why I haven't returned yet to the Evangelical Lutheran congregation that I visited in early January--nothing specific pulled me away. 

Perhaps it is that the other congregation feels like a "start up," and instead of feeling energized by that newness, I feel exhausted by it. They were friendly and engaging, but I'm not sure how broad their vision is and I'm not sure that I want to be "known" quickly.

Coming from a Catholic background, I was concerned that I would have a form of religious PTSD when visiting a "high church." Instead, I find an unexpected peace in the familiarity of some aspects--kneeling for prayer, sharing peace with congregants.  The service is comforting in its structure. Looking around the sanctuary brings solidity, beauty, purpose. I find the details understated and quietly reassuring.

There are things that I don't understand fully or do well with nonetheless. The service moves back and forth between the congregational responses, hymns, and priestly duties. I'm often on the wrong page or the wrong book, shuffling back and forth between the hymnal and the Book of Common Prayer.  They recite things at a constant pace, and I long to enunciate, linger, and understand the words. After more than 25 years in the low church tradition, it can feel like "a lot" to take in.

But, I am trying. I am part of this group when I attend--I feel part of the congregation giving service to God, reciting time worn prayers, receiving communion.

I visited the church office on a whim this Tuesday with the thought of getting a parking pass.  The volunteer who was at the office desk was....a typical older volunteer. A little bit of a warm body, a little clueless, not especially tuned in or helpful.  But, the woman waiting behind me was more present and kind. I suppose the visit neither encouraged or discouraged me.

I think I will keep attending this church on Sundays, although I admit that I am not looking for quick relationship.  I would rather be quiet in a pew and slip out without having to face the mingling. I do like the thought that they gather for "formation" and share breakfast in the morning and coffee after church in the courtyard. It seems like a great way to encourage fellowship--just not there yet.